Blawwwg.

Photo

Sun, 19 May 2013 10:45:42 -0400

Kid Quotes

Fri, 17 May 2013 17:35:13 -0400

My ten-year-old randomly states, “Trivium is a great band.”

He wins favorite kid.

Tooooooool<333333333333

Fri, 17 May 2013 12:47:48 -0400

And so it shall be. And they are, and it is and I am and that is enough for all time.

Trees like a mother fucker

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:08:26 -0400

Trees like a mother fucker

wow guys i cant answer all of your 0 anons

Thu, 16 May 2013 12:03:02 -0400

wow guys i cant answer all of your 0 anons

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:05:03 -0400

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 11:02:13 -0400

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:58:55 -0400

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:46:49 -0400

Photo

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:42:57 -0400

henryclervall: google gets kinky

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:39:49 -0400

henryclervall:

google gets kinky

to-be-skinny-and-lovely: kruzanbeauty: thatkrunkkid: unexcite:...

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:38:01 -0400

to-be-skinny-and-lovely:

kruzanbeauty:

thatkrunkkid:

unexcite:

having-wanderlust:

smoshtasticbro:

I tried to scroll over this..

we all tried…

its impossible to scroll over this

everyone

has

tried

i failed…

i watched this so many times before i pressed reblog

aliens-and-art: window this is inside an old abandoned house in...

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:31:32 -0400

aliens-and-art:

window

this is inside an old abandoned house in my town, its like the people just disappeared, all their belongings are still there.. its hauntingly beautiful.

alangoldsher: Today’s cool Miles Davis photo is just…cool....

Wed, 15 May 2013 10:30:03 -0400

alangoldsher:

Today’s cool Miles Davis photo is just…cool. Leather pants notwithstanding.

Photo

Tue, 14 May 2013 08:02:19 -0400

crab-cakes: iffem: jrne: its just what i need could you...

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:30:41 -0400

crab-cakes:

iffem:

jrne:

its just what i need

could you imagine how much sugar is in that thing?

Sold Out…You mean enough people actually looked at that thing and said “$149.99 for a man sized edible snake? Fukkin yes, where the fuck do I pay.”

Photo

Sun, 12 May 2013 18:42:33 -0400

Sometimes I think I am like one of four moms on tumblr. To those other three, Happy Mother’s...

Sun, 12 May 2013 16:50:59 -0400

Sometimes I think I am like one of four moms on tumblr. To those other three, Happy Mother’s Day.

Suicide Prevention Bitches

Sun, 12 May 2013 02:39:40 -0400

It’s Mother’s Day in 4 minutes. I have Mommy Issues.

I didn’t really know my mom, my dad raised me (hero) because my mother was an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. She died October 12th 2006. A few days after that I attempted suicide. I just found the note I had left for my family.

(no, def not posting that shit, major trigger, not necessary)

I was in tears at reading it. Reading this sad, horrific terrifying account of this woman’s life and her thoughts and state of mind. The hopelessness. It was so damned familiar, but it wasn’t me. I knew exactly what she was talking about in this note, but I didn’t know her. I was so sad for her. Her surrender broke my heart. I wanted to save this girl, to find who wrote this right now and go and save her. I am sick to my stomach from reading this and remembering so clearly where those thoughts came from.

In those few moments, I had given over everything. I had lost any hope, the depression and pain was so atrocious, the only solution was to end my life. I had no other choice. In those moments I had reached a place of relief, of acceptance, of HOPE. Hope that it would be over. The pain. The hiding, the screaming, the confusion, the cutting, the addictions, the hatred, the shame, the guilt and the chore of breathing. There was hope in the last minutes of life. The saddest hope I had ever felt.

(excerpt) “I’m so sorry. To myself. I am sorry Charleen.”

It didn’t work. I am here. I am alive. I do not want to die today. I haven’t wanted to die for a very long time. Years. I am content. (I use happy sparingly, and in moments where an accurate explanation of my feelings might be misunderstood, but I am indeed…happy) Since then I have been properly diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder II Rapid Cycling and Mixed Episodes. I am properly medicated. I smile. And laugh. In the same day sometimes. I get up in the morning and wake up the little girl I was pregnant with when I did this so many years ago and I help her get ready for school. And I never think about that day. I don’t have those feelings anymore. The desperation. The hopelessness. I have really bad days sometimes, yes indeed, don’t get me wrong I am not cured, but if I am doing the things I am supposed to be doing, I’m not tryin to die.

I see so many peeps on tumblr dealing with these feelings every day. Thoughts and stories of suicide. I’m pretty sensitive to it, and when I see it, I reach out. Because I know it will not be that way forever. I am living proof that it gets better. It’s not forever, and if I can remind someone of that when it seems otherwise, I have a responsibility to do so. There is another way out. You can have your fucking cake and eat that shit too, believe me!

If I knew before that moment what I know today, I wouldn’t have done what I did. And since that isn’t possible for anyone, I can only say this: it gets better. It isn’t you. YOU are wonderful and beautiful and useful and needed and people love you and you have a purpose. Even if all it is is sitting at your computer years from now typing out a suicide prevention/hope story, you have a place here. And fortunately for me, that is not my only place in life here, today I am positive (for the most part) and I find solutions where I can, I am respectful and sober and medicated and capable. I am a kick-ass mother and wife. I make bomb-ass spaghetti. And I survived long enough to experience Regular Show and Harry Potter. That is a life worth living.

Just hang on. Just ask. Just do. You ARE your own solution sometimes. Just take that next breath and make it count. Ask. Do. Exceed. Love. Experience. Be.

I did.

me: time for bed

Sun, 12 May 2013 01:41:24 -0400

me: time for bed
stomach: LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
brain: HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
muscles: I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
skin: LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
ears: THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
eyes: WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
mouth: IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
body: HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
me: ok